Friday, September 4, 2009

We are FAMILY!

Yes, this is a shirt from 1979!lol Wishful thinking for 2009!

I friend of mine just recently wrote in her blog that "they didn't feel like a family yet." I want to thank her for saying that. So many times in and out of the adoption community we want things to look like everything is going perfect! But the reality is that we as adoptive families face many challenges that seem like any other challenges that any family would face but what in fact seems to be "typical" isn't always "typical."
Right now we are stuck in the " It is not as tough as it was but it is not as good as it is going to get." We are in between "We are Family!"(sing it Pirate fans!!) to "When are we going to feel like family?" So, I have figured out that family "feels" different in different stages of our family. Every time we have added someone to our family, the idea of what our family feels like has changed. As my friend, Candy has put it, we have a "new normal." So, I think we are on the verge of it(meaning our new normal). But that means giving up the old normal. We cannot put new wine in old wine skins as God says it. But we have been trying to do just that, which has made this transition a lot harder than it needs to be.
Some people have said(even myself at one point) that everything you have been experiencing would have happened if you would have added another biological child. Yes and No! Typical isn't always typical. We added a 6 year old baby to our family. She came with a past and a present and she was living with both. And then we come along and give her a promise of a future in Christ. That is a lot for a family to deal with. That is a lot for a little girl to deal with.
So right now we are singing "We are Family!" It doesn't sound really pretty, But in God's grace we WILL get there.


Rob & Candy said...

Heather- I love- We cannot put new wine in old wine skins. So TRUE!! I'm glad were not the only ones longing for a new normal.
I cannot wait to sing _ We are Family- in tune.